A coach is not just an expert in psychology and not just an assistant under challenging conflicts. The coach’s unique skills allow him to help people find a solution to their troubles independently of anyone. It means that a professional launches mechanism for analyzing a problem in a person’s thinking but never gives him a task that has already been solved. Coached sessions, if carefully organized, can be practical for people in stressful situations.
The session has two goals for the near and long term. The first goal is to help a friend deal with despair after being fired. If I manage to finish this goal, the person will be able to take control of the situation and not give in to emotions; that is, he will cope with this situation. The second goal is to strengthen the relationship with my friend by improving communication, trust, and understanding. If I try to achieve this goal, communication will move to a qualitatively new level and confidence (Romero, 2012). An additional purpose that I can fulfill with the measurable success of the session is to train my friend to cope with stress and not fall into despair under difficult life circumstances. Acquiring this particular goal seems to be the most difficult at this stage. If it is possible to achieve this goal, it will have a severe impact on my friend’s future life and will allow him to develop stress resistance on his own.
The session should take about an hour or less; planned actions include creating a peaceful atmosphere for the person concerned, carefully managing the conversation by asking, and subtly suggesting small steps towards solving the problem. It seems that actions should be soft; they should not contain a mentoring, commanding tone, or the tone of an advisor. Other behavior of my coachee and his communication with other people will clearly show the results of the conversation and whether the session was helpful for him. I will ask questions about what the coachee can learn from firing. Questions for comparison are considered adequate: “What would you do in the place of your colleagues? Your friends faced such troubles? What did you advise them?”.
The conversation took about 40-45 minutes, and my friend was very excited. He did not want to continue this dialogue for too long. At the beginning of the conversation, I suggested drinking some coffee or tea together. Initially, the conversation went freely, and I asked only leading questions: “Why did your boss say that? How did you feel after the secretary called you?” At about the tenth minute of the conversation, my coachee had an overwhelming feeling that he was sorry that he was being coddled. It spoiled the different atmosphere of the conversation as equals. He directly stated his senses and said he did not need anyone’s pity. I had to apologize and explain what I meant for the coachee to understand my intentions correctly. Moreover, I spent the rest of the session in the non-verbal distance with the coachee, moving to the other side of the room to give more freedom.
My friend and I spent the first part of the session relatively close: we sat on the same couch. I tried to speak quietly but clearly to create a peaceful atmosphere. I tried to show that I did not judge the coachee and did not laugh at his problems because he had expressed fears that other people were doing this before the session. The second part of the session acquired the most formal connotation, but at the same time, the coachee felt more relaxed, as indicated by the way he changed the position of his body on the couch.
The session did not go as well as initially planned and took too little time. Many details were left out, and, unfortunately, I took aspects of the coaching and the session rules into general terms. Despite this, my friend appreciated the attempt to support him in the end and thanked him for the unusual kind of dialogue (Bluckert, 2005). I managed to draw the coachee’s attention to the that many of his friends faced similar problems, so now he will feel more confident and will not be afraid to ask them for advice.
It was challenging to find a balance between formal and informal dialogue and find the degree of loyalty and understanding. It was also tricky for me to competently weave non-verbal aspects into the conversation, even though this is critical for effective communication for coaches. The consequences of the session did not appear immediately but inhibited because my friend should have thought about what he said and what I said to him. There were concerns that my friend would react negatively to almost any feedback other than unequivocal support, but blind praise would be inappropriate (Berglas, 2013). As a result, I expressed relatively controversial feedback aimed at ensuring that the ward could consult with his friends in the future and did not put an end to the dialogue that had happened.
Among the new knowledge are, in general, the psychological aspects of the work of a coach. It was also complicated for me to balance verbal and non-verbal communication in a pleasant environment (Bluckert, 2005). Managers, colleagues, partners, and friends must hear people, and they always notice when they are listened to with interest (Ohlin, 2021). Only then it is possible to gain their favor and trust. It is possible to advise that people follow only by first gaining trust.
It was easy to follow fragmentary skills and show attention, but creating a friendly atmosphere was the real challenge. It is also essential for me to be flexible and react to various emotional aspects of the coachee’s personality. Next time, I should prepare for the session based on the person’s unique personal characteristics and not act according to the book. I should ask myself how to properly balance at a distance so as not to put pressure on the coachee and at the same time seem to be involved. By solving this problem, I will feel much more confident. All of these details will help the coach improve effective communication.
The set goals were achieved, despite all the difficulties during the session. The only exception was an additional goal since now there is no certainty that my friend will be easier to cope with stress in the future. I eliminated the stress factor with friends’ support, and the relationship with my friend improved significantly, despite the not quite right balance of loyalty and care. The complex skill of effective communication must continue to be developed, first of all, in practice with different people, I think. Over time, I will become a professional, listening, giving competent and balanced feedback, and supporting people in other ways. The ability to listen disposes a person and motivates him to build trusting relationships because it is vital for all people to be listened to and heard. Feedback is the center of coaching, its core, which has a tremendous impact on the result of all work. The competent formulation of feedback allows the ward to draw the correct conclusions from the job and, in the future, to make the most beneficial decisions for themselves.
Berglas, S. (2013). Negative feedback. Leadership Excellence Essentials, 30(11), 11.
Bluckert, P. (2005). Critical factors in executive coaching – the coaching relationship. Industrial and Commercial Training, 37(6), 336- 340.
Ohlin, B. (2021). Active listening: The art of empathetic conversation. PositivePsychology.Com. Web.
Romero, D. B. (2012). The business of listening: Become a more effective listener. Viva Books Private Limited.